It’s December and that means festive gatherings….lots of them!
It’s Christmas party season and that can involve a lot of nights out with friends or colleagues. It may also be the time for meeting up with family for a catch up and to exchange Christmas presents.
For those of us who love socialising this is the season where there is a social event around every corner – hurray!
For those of us who are more introverted or have social anxiety this is the season of nightmares.
So how does someone who struggles in social situations cope during the festive season?
Life is a balancing act – too much of something and not enough of something else can lead to problems. The festive season is no different.
Too many social engagements and not enough time to recharge can leave you burnt out, overwhelmed and ready to find a cave go hide in. Try balancing your time to the ratio you need – 50/50 could work for some, others may need 20% social engagements and 80% private time. Do what works for you.
When in social situations, if you find yourself getting increasingly anxious you are not alone.
Experiencing a rapid heart rate, cheeks getting flushed, sweating, dizziness, stumbling over words are a few of the symptoms of social anxiety.
To the person it can feel like everyone is noticing and judging them for it. They then start getting anxious about their anxiety symptoms.
They become so focused on their symptoms they stop paying attention, look distracted, avoid eye contact and/or withdraw from the conversation. People do notice but not what you think they do. They become aware of the persons lack of engagement and their body language, flow of the conversation and tone becomes strained – they think you aren’t interested in talking to them.
The best advice – get OUT of your head.
Everyone has said something that sounds silly – we’ve all been there.
Everyone has been embarrassed at some point – we’ve all been there.
Everyone has been tongue tied or not known what to say – we’ve all been there.
Everyone has been anxious about people not liking them at some point- we’ve all been there.
Stay present. Listen and hear what people are saying. Don’t worry about being judged. Don’t overthink what to say. Be you. You is good enough. Not everyone is going to like you, regardless of what you say or do and that’s ok – you don’t like everyone you meet either. Take a deep breath. You can do this.
Written by Julia Donald at Cognitive Vitality Psychotherapy in Inverness.