18th to 24 November 2019 is Scotland’s week long book party and this year the theme is Blether #BookWeekScotland.
So what is a blether?
A blether is simply a warm and friendly chat. It can be about anything!
It may not seem very important on the surface but a good blether can be life changing.
Lets say you’ve had a long and tiring day. You’re waiting at the bus stop and the bus is late. It’s pouring with rain and freezing cold. You are feeling…I’m guessing pretty miserable! Someone else is standing next to you and before you know it you are both blethering about your summer holidays, or a good meal you had in town, about your dogs….very soon you stop feeling so miserable; you are now chatting and laughing.
Lets say you are sitting on a train on your way to an interview. You are feeling nervous, worried and panicky. The person sitting opposite comments on what a lovely day it is. You haven’t even noticed you’ve been so concerned about the interview. You reply to be polite but after a few minutes you are talking about your interview and this kind stranger listens, offering support. You start to relax and the conversation changes to talk about a wedding they are going to….20 minutes later you leave the train. You are nervous and worried but after the chat you feel slightly lighter.
Lets say you are sitting on a park bench and there is someone next to you. You start chatting about the flowers or the changing seasons. Maybe you talk about the approaching festive season. 10 minutes later you continue on your way. The person could have been sitting there feeling alone in the world. Maybe they had a fight with their partner, been let go at work, lost a loved one or are worrying about how to pay their rent next week. Your 10 minute blether could have been the only good thing to happen to them that day.
Having a cup of tea and a blether with a friend can sometimes be the only therapy you need! Between the two of you and a slice of carrot cake you can put the world to rights.
We have no idea what is going on in other peoples lives. We have no idea what they are going through. It could be something wonderful and they are thrilled to shout it from the rooftops. It could be something bad and they are lost and upset. It could be a normal day but talking to you makes their day a tiny bit better.
At the end of the day, having a blether with a friend or loved one, a neighbour or acquaintance or maybe a total stranger can be the difference between them feeling alone and feeling someone cares.
So next time you are sitting or standing next to someone and you have a free 2 minutes have a blether….about anything. Make a differnce to their day. Make a difference to your day. That could be all the difference that’s needed.
Written by Julia Donald at Cognitive Vitality Psychotherapy in Inverness.