Month: October 2019

Bonfire night is around the corner and as delightful as we find lighting the bonfire and letting off fireworks not everyone shares that same thrilling experience.

For others this time of year is filled with dread, panic and terror.

Fireworks are loud, colourful and look spectacular in the sky. For those with PTSD they can have a traumatising effect.

So is this something they can snap out of? Pull themselves together and it will be ok? Understand it’s only fireworks and they won’t hurt you? Be brave and push through?

If only it were that simple.

When someone is traumatised and is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) their brain changes to protect them. Their amygdala recognises the noise as a real and genuine threat and floods their body with adrenaline to fight or escape (the fight, flight or freeze response). The fear is real.

So if you have PTSD what can you do to make this time of year more bearable?

First of all I would ask for compassion. This is not your fault. This is not something you have asked for or want. This is the result of a traumatic experience and the amygdala pairing experiences as threatening. Therefore, I would ask you have compassion for yourself, you deserve it.

If you can go somewhere quiet away from the noise then that will give you some relief. It is a short term solution because if you ever want to overcome your body’s response you will need therapy. CBT is very effective in treating PTSD and is something I would recommend you look into.

If you can’t escape it then tell whoever you will be with that you will need their support. Here are some strategies which can help you.

It is important to go into the situation calm. If you are anxious before it starts your body is already half way there. Easier said than done? Yes of course but it is doable.

Focus on your breathing. Inhale for 4, hold the breath for 4 and exhale for 4. Repeat, telling yourself ‘calm’.

Grounding exercises are especially helpful at distracting your brain.

• Count back from 100 in 3s or 5s (100, 97, 94, 91)
• Think of an animal or a country or a city with every letter in the alphabet
• Focus on your body. How does your left foot feel in socks or shoes? Wiggle your toes, how does that feel? Stamp your foot, how does that feel? Now with the right foot. How does it feel on your skin to wear jeans/trousers/jumper? When you move how does the sensation change?
• Think of a happy memory. Relive the memory in detail using your senses. What did you see, hear, smell, feel and taste?

When the fireworks start remind yourself you are safe. Continue with the breathing exercise focusing on your breath and the grounding techniques.

It can be a challenging time but using these techniques will hopefully make it more manageable. Contact me if you would like more information.

Written by Julia Donald, CBT Psychotherapist at Cognitive Vitality Psychotherapy Inverness.

We are approaching Halloween – a marvellous time of year for dressing up in weird and wonderful costumes!

Halloween gives us the opportunity to transform ourselves into someone, or something, different. It could be an animal, a famous person or the traditional witch/ghost/skeleton.

As children there is so much delight in getting dressed up and assuming the identity of the costume. As adults how many of us have the chance to be someone or something different for a while? Would you want to be?

How many of us have dressed up as an angel, the devil, a Greek God or even the naughty nurse at Halloween for fun? For one night we get to pretend to be someone else.

In our every day lives we are generally fixed in a pattern of behaviour. This then brings out particular personality traits more than others. People then identify us with those ways of being.

But what happens if you want a break from the person the world knows is ‘you’? How easy is it to wake up one day and be different? The person always saying yes to everyone says no. The quiet, shy, reserved person asks someone on a date. The outgoing socialite stays home and reads a book. How would the people around you respond?

A few months ago I was watching a reality TV programme about couples who think they should win the ‘perfect couple’ title. In one of those couples the female was describing herself as two people: her ‘normal’ self and her alter ego. The characteristics were totally different and had a different first name. Her alter ego was significantly more confident, outgoing and open minded sexually.

As a CBT Psychotherapist all of a sudden I was paying attention. Was this alter ego a different self state (dissociative disorder)? What was going on here? Why did this female feel she needed an alter ego and couldn’t incorporate all of her desired traits into her ‘normal’ self.

As I continued to watch it became clear this was her way of being the person she wanted society to see and also giving herself permission to have a less restricted version of herself as and when she wanted it. She didn’t wait for Halloween to have one night of being someone else.

So here’s something to reflect on. How often do you allow different parts of your personality to come out? How often do you break the mould and be a different you? If you did, what would that person be like? Would the people around you accept that version of you? If they wouldn’t, what does that say about them?

Do you really need the excuse or reason of Halloween to transform yourself, not into someone else, but into a different you?

Written by Julia Donald , CBT Psychotherapist at Cognitive Vitality Psychotherapy Inverness.

Today the clocks go back an hour signifying the changing seasons and oncoming winter. For some, today is filled with dread – dark mornings, cold weather and the desire to stay inside. For others it is a time for excitement – winter sports, the festive season approaching or a time to catch your breath and hibernate. How did you feel about it? Maybe you were just happy to get an extra hour in bed – I wouldn’t blame you!

Every year at this time I always think about what a bonus that extra hour is. What will I do with it? Is there something I’ve been desperately wanting to do but never found the time because today of all days I now have it.

This year my 13 week old puppy had different ideas. For him it was still the same time to wake up and play. He was hungry so it must be breakfast time. Try explaining to a puppy “well actually the clocks have gone back to yes we can play tug of war but in an hour’s time”.

This got me thinking about time and how precious the concept of one more hour is. When we are children all we want is one more minute in the play park or playing with friends. When we are on holiday what most of us wouldn’t do to have just one more minute lying in the sun or skiing in the alps. When someone we love is dying we would go to the ends of the earth for just one more minute of their company.

So today we have an hour, 60 whole minutes…what are you going to do with it?

Written by Julia Donald, CBT Psychotherapist at Cognitive Vitality Psychotherapy Inverness.